A Whole New World
by ShiraNation
Summary: "I would no longer be covering "boring" politics (fuckers, right?), instead I would be writing an expose on the ever so fascinating Earth (God, why me?)." Naomi is an Intergalactic Journalist abandoned on Earth with the accompaniment of her mother, Gina. Somewhere along the way she falls for a red-headed earthling, despite not quite believing in fate or love. AU. Very comical.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone, I've come up with a new story! How exciting! Anyone ever read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? I was very inspired. Anyway, this is just an introductory/premise chapter. The following chapter will include actual action and whatnot. Let me know what you think :)**

_ Hello there. If you're reading this, well, there are a few important things you should know. Allow me to briefly introduce myself; my name is Naomi Campbell. I'm 24 years old. I graduated from the Intergalactic University of Arts and Letters with a degree in journalism. I began writing articles for the Intergalactic Times as a freelancer, you see... You may have heard of the articles I wrote on the Planet Gobbler Wars (one of my favorites), the Mangler Trials, the Galactic Council election (that seemed to go on for light-years), and a few other political pieces. _

_However, recently, I was offered a permanent position on the Intergalactic Blog as a weekly columnist (finally). While I was very excited to have finally been offered my dreams (okay, easy there on the sappy "Disney-esque" dreams-do-come-true moment), there was a condition (of course): I would no longer be covering "boring" politics (fuckers, right?), instead I would be writing an expose on the ever so fascinating Earth (God, why me?). I have never quite understood the intergalactic fascination with the inferior humanoid species (I'm not exactly a conformist of sorts); however, I was admittedly slightly curious how they function (I heard they still don't have hovercars, how pathetic...). While space exploration and science have never exactly been my topics of choice (or success, really), I had decided that I would accept opportunity with the hopes of further career advancement (what a load of bollocks that turned out to be, but you'll see that in a second). _

_Unfortunately, a week after my deployment and stationing on Earth, the Intergalactic Times was charged with all sorts of criminal activity (apparently the Council requires some level of censorship, fuck that, right? Power and information to the people!) that I had not known about and everyone employed by it was sent to the Intergalactic Prison (seriously unfortunate). Thankfully, I had not yet started writing my expose (still in the draft and research phase), and therefore have remained undiscovered (there goes my career advancement). It is with great displeasure that I have come to terms with the fact that I am going to be stranded on Earth as a refugee (wait, it gets worse) with the accompaniment of my mother who had joined me in pursuit of a "vacation" (and "mother-daughter" bonding time, as she put it). If you're reading this, please send help. We've been abandoned here for already a month and I don't think I can stand another minute (of Earth or my mother). The I.P. is better than this. Please, for the love of which the humans call "Christ" (they say his name a lot, a lot, a lot), rescue us (or if you have only room for one, rescue me, I'm sure my mother would do just fine here)._

**A/N: I really tried showing Naomi's sarcastic voice, hopefully you saw that. Later, Naomily lovers!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the follows and reviews! Now I suppose is where the actual story begins. Please enjoy :)**

In case you're wondering, my mother and I found a quaint little two-story house in the rural area of Bristol, England. Well, it's not exactly little, there are several bedrooms, three bathrooms, a fairly large kitchen, a dining room, a living room, and then there is the garden outback from the previous owners. We kind of chose the first house we saw on the market. Funny thing, humans used wads of colored paper and plastic cards to make purchases, there was no actual exchange of value for items. I thought they were much better off in their primitive stage when they used a bartering system. At least it was easy enough to replicate their currency with my Scantron 4000, to the extent that neither my mother nor I would have to worry about poverty on this planet. Although, we did agree to not over purchase anything so as not to arouse any suspicion.

For the first month, having known our doomed fate here on Earth after the first week, I became a homebody. I was hit with a bit of depression and glumness that all I had left of home is what I brought with me. There was no going back and getting more of my intergalactic equipment or seeing any of my friends. Then I thought about that a bit longer. _I don't really have any friends. _And with that acknowledgement the depression sort of faded away and rationality kicked in. If I was going to be stuck on this planet, I may as well figure out how to live here.

I spent the second week doing tons of research on human-alien relations. Apparently, in every human movie and book, aliens are the bad guys with crummy catchphrases like "take me to your leader." Do you know how many fucking times I heard and read that catchphrase? A lot._ What, you thought I actually counted for a moment there, didn't you? God, I don't have time for that bullshit. _Of course, us aliens were green-skinned, laser-gun wielding, planet-destroying invaders that had no greater purpose than to wreak havoc on the human race. _What an inaccurate depiction of us as well as an awful waste of time that would be._ Then again, it made sense, the humans was an ego-centrist race; of course every other race in existence had some motive relevant to them. It was then that I calculated that if we were stuck here, we were going to have to blend in. No "hello, my name is Naomi Campbell, I come from Wagglenore, pleasure to meet you." I was just another girl born in America that moved to Bristol at a young age. _Yes, that would be a casual enough backstory. America is foreign enough to Great Britain right? _I could name a random city and they would have no choice but to believe I was from there.

"It's quite lovely here, don't you think, love?" said Gina one morning. My mother did not seem to mind our situation one bit. In fact, she had already managed to befriend the neighbors. Perhaps she did a fair share of human culture research of her own before arriving here. Maybe it was time to wrestle my pride and ask her for some advice.

"Mum, what exactly do humans do with their lives?"

"Oh honey, you make them sound so different. Same as us, they get jobs, raise families, travel - the whole lot. I'm sure we'll be just fine here, maybe even better."

"Bollocks. I hate it here." I leaned back in my chair by the kitchen table and folded my arms across my chest. A bit of my bottle blonde hair fell in front of my blue eyes. I blew it out of my face, frustrated. _Stupid hair. Stupid planet._

"You haven't even given it a chance," she said as calmly as ever and put her hands on her hips.

"Why should I?"

"Because fact is, we live here now, and groaning over nothing is going to get you no closer to Wagglenore. The humans are lovely people and if you didn't already know, they do have journalists on this planet. You can modify your resume and apply for a job here and make yourself happy."

"Hmm." I will admit, I am rather difficult and stubborn once I have made a judgment about something. It was going to take a fair amount of something more to make me even consider saying anything pleasant about this damn planet. Don't get me wrong; I was equally miffed about the Intergalactic Times getting busted and sending me out here in the first place. If they just gave me the damn job I wanted... _you'd be in prison. Ugh, fuck it. _"Do you think the humans have politics?"

"They have a government, darling," she chuckled, "of course they have politics." Gina grabbed something off the counter and placed it in front of me. It was a stack of worded paper. "It's called a newspaper. They don't have digital-news here. Look in the jobs section, maybe you'll find something."

Just as I attempted to flip it open the newspaper cut my finger. "FUCK THIS PLANET!" I shouted, scooting away from the table and standing up to storm upstairs. _Okay, okay, so I was also a bit dramatic. _ I held my slightly bleeding finger and wiped away the blood. It stung like a bitch. Wagglenore did not use paper, and therefore, we did not get any fucking paper cuts. "Where are the damn bandaids?"

Gina rolled her eyes. "There should be some beneath the sink." She started walking away. "I'm going to do some gardening, and then I'm having tea with the neighbors. I'll see you later, love."

"Ugh, okay." I sighed. For some reason it bothered me how accepting she was of the humans. I cannot tell you exactly why I was so anti-human. Maybe it was the fact that I do not socialize and the humans have so many expectations. _Or maybe it was the fact that you didn't completely choose to spend the rest of your life on this planet. _The humans were just so... so primitive. They had hardly any of the technological, scientific, medical, or political advances like we did. It was nearly impossible to see them as equals.

Just before Gina closed the door behind herself she called out, "Why don't you get some fresh air, Naomi? I think it would do you some good. There's a coffee shop about a few blocks into the city. Maybe you could write a bit in that sort of environment. It certainly wouldn't do you any harm."

"Fat chance." I snorted once she closed the door. Instead, I made my way to the TV and watched it for a few hours, fading in and out of sleep on the couch. Reality television was just about the dumbest thing that could have happened to the entire human race. I mean, talk about a total reputation killer. What idiots would get so trashed they would puke in a plant or are so superficial that they would have a toddler beauty contest? I honestly do not understand these people. I checked the time. _2:23 pm. Fuck, it's only been three hours. _I was bored out of my mind. It was week three of being here and I had done just about anything there was to do without leaving the house. _Maybe I should get out._

I went upstairs and changed into a pair of black jeans and a grey t-shirt, and a leather belt. After I slipped on a pair of boots called Doc Martens, I grabbed my satchel equipped with a laptop (there was not a fucking chance I was going to risk another paper cut incident with a writing journal). Actually, I took one small chance and scribbled a note to Gina telling her that I had changed my mind and decided to explore. I locked the front door and headed off in the direction of the city.

I could not help but think what a waste of airspace when I noticed how much traffic there was in the city. I was slightly uncomfortable with how crowded the sidewalks were getting and looked for some place to head into. _Starbucks. I think this is it. _I pushed open the glass door. There was a fucking line. _At least it will kill some time. You only have, what, a whole lifetime left... _The line actually moved surprisingly fast. I could not help but notice the eclectic selection of creatures working behind the counter. There was a lad with long hair grinding ice, another guy with a mohawk handing out the drinks, and some girl with red hair at the register.

Honestly, when it was my turn I was a little overwhelmed. I cursed myself for not having prepared while I was in line, quickly trying to read the menu. I was so nervous I could hardly read anything, my eyes were sweeping over side to side too quickly.

"Hi, what can I get you?" she asked in a customer-friendly voice.

"Uhm... I'll just have what the uh, last guy ordered."

She looked at me dumbly, "A grande coffee with eight shots of espresso? Are you sure? He's a regular."

"Yes, I'm sure." I snapped. I hated being questioned and furthermore, challenged. I was not going to let this girl think I was stupid, so I acted as if I had every intention of getting that specific drink... and as if I knew what the hell espresso was.

"Okay..." she furrowed her brows dubiously but rang up the order. I paid her in cash. "What's your name?"

"Naomi Campbell." As she was writing my name on the cup I could tell she was biting back a smile.

"What?" I snapped for the second time.

"Nothing. Sorry." She handed the cup to long-haired guy. "Your order will arrive at that counter." She pointed to my left as if I hadn't been here before. She still doubted me and I hated that.

"Listen..." I looked at her name tag, "Emily, I've been waiting in line for twenty minutes. I could easily see how this place functions in that time. I know where to wait for my damn coffee, thank you very much."

"Christ," she mumbled.

Satisfied, I walked away and waited as patiently as possible for my order.

"Order for Naomi... Campbell," shouted mohawk guy.

Immediately everyone in the coffee shop started laughing and looking around for who the coffee belonged too. _What the fuck is so funny? _I hesitated for a second before walking up and accepting the order. "Aw, damn, I was half-expecting the model, y'know, sorry" he said as he handed it to me. _Of course, there must be another fucking Naomi Campbell on this damn planet. _

"Yeah, whatever. Sorry to disappoint." I said, sarcastically. He shrugged. I walked away with my coffee and sat down at an empty table near a window looking out onto the road. I took a sip, _mmm, nice and hot. _I ended up practically chugging the whole thing down before getting my laptop out. It was about fifteen minutes before things started to go awfully wrong. I felt my hands start to tremble and my feet started bouncing. _What the hell is wrong with me? _I thought about it for a moment. _It must have been that fucking coffee... what the hell is a fucking espresso?_

I tried to start writing and typing since I was feeling wide-awake but my hands were shaking a bit too much to hit the keyboard right. Instead I just pretended to act busy or deep in thought by looking out the window. I put in some headphones and listened to music. It was not too long before it started raining outside. _Such shitty weather here. _Although I kind of liked the rain, it was sort of relaxing if you were not stuck outside. It was frequent here in Bristol. I was so zoned out that I hardly noticed the redhead from behind the register sit down across from me until she cleared her throat.

I took out my headphones seeing as she was starting at me expectantly. "Aren't you supposed to be working or something?"

"I'm on break."

"Okay... and you're sitting here telling me this because?"

"It's the only empty seat left." She shrugged and sipped on the drink cupped between her small hands. I looked around and confirmed that indeed it was much busier than it had been when I arrived. All the tables and seats were taken. Just as I was about to put my headphones back in she started talking again. _Ugh. Humans. Social. Ugh._

"How did you like your coffee... and eight shots of espresso?" she giggled.

"It was fine, thanks. Actually, I quite liked it." I lied. I just did not want to admit I should have ordered something else.

She raised an eyebrow toward my hand. Apparently, I had not noticed that my hand was tapping the table rapidly and my feet were still bouncing against the floor. "Maybe a few less shots of espresso would have done the trick. Just a suggestion for next time." She smiled. _Stop smiling at me like that. It makes me uncomfortable._

"What makes you think there will be a next time?" I smirked. _Silly humans, always making assumptions about other people._

"Well, you did say you quite liked the coffee. Most people like to repurchase things they like."

She was obviously biting back a triumphant smile. This conversation was an entire battle of wits and I was starting to lose, damn it. I was not going to lose to a human! "Okay, well I would not say it was _that _good."

"Here, try this." She pushed her drink across the table.

_Ugh. Human germs. _But this was just another challenge. I did not flinch. I firmly grasped the cup and brought it to my lips under the gaze of her watchful brown eyes. _Oh my god, that's fucking fantastic. _I put the cup down in front of me and tried to keep a straight face as the delicious aftertaste was overwhelming my taste buds. "What was that?"

"Wow, so you've never had that before?"

"No..." _I wouldn't have fucking asked if I had. _

"It was our special hot chocolate and whipped cream. Wait, so did you like it?"

"It was okay." I was going to feign being nonchalant. If I sounded too enthusiastic I would lose.

"You totally liked it." She laughed. Damn, it was throaty and deep, matching her husky voice. Different from those high-pitched giggles of the girls on reality television.

"What, I didn't say that! How could you possibly know?"

"Me think the lady doth protest too much."

"What? No. It was _just _okay."

Emily took back her cup. "Mhk. If you say so." She took a couple sips.

"Aren't you supposed to get back to work or something?"

"In a bit, _Naomi._" She leaned forward and put her elbows on the table.

"How do you know my name?" I asked. She just sat there raising her damn left eyebrow again as if to say "figure it out." I thought about it for a moment and all of our interactions until I realized I had given it to her at the cash register, and then if that was not enough, the mohawk guy had shouted it before. "Oh. Right." Now I felt utterly stupid.

"I think Naomi is a nice name. I like it."

"Yeah?" The whole place laughing about it had made me momentarily insecure. "Thanks."

"No problem." She sipped more of that delicious hot chocolate and licked her upper lip. It was in that moment that I realized she was absolutely gorgeous. She smiled sheepishly, showing off her bright white teeth that contrasted her olive skin beautifully. _Maybe you should stop being a total bitch and socialize. _

"So... Emily..."

"Yeah?"

Problem was, I had no idea what to say. "Do you come here often?"

She laughed. "I work here four days a week, if that's what you're asking."

I made her laugh, albeit, it was unintentional and the question was stupid and I would not have asked it if I thought about the answer. It just kind of fell out of my mouth, like every other question that followed. "Do you like working here?"

"Yeah. I've met some pretty interesting and awesome people." She smiled again. And this time I was less uncomfortable and more excited until she frowned and looked at her watch. "Sorry, Naomi, I've got to get back to work. I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Maybe." I shrugged. _What, you can't expect a girl to change after a few sips of hot chocolate, can you? _I started to pack my things up. _I think this is enough interaction for one day. _I needed to think about these weird feelings for a bit. I had never actually found someone attractive before. Maybe it was due to the fact that I spent most of my time in university in private instead of dating. I don't know, I just needed to figure out what to do with this new attraction. I was going to be on Earth for a while, maybe it was time I become a regular here.

"Well, I hope I do." She smiled and walked away.

_Yeah, definitely time to become a Starbucks regular._

**A/N: let me know what you think! :)**


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